I never thought the day would come when I would whine more on a golf course than Jordan Spieth. I have nothing against him. In fact, I was happy enough that he won the Open Championship (though probably I would have been even happier if Kuchar had won), but my boyfriend and I often make fun of Spieth’s antics on the golf course. When things aren’t going his way he talks to his ball, or his club, or to himself. He looks dismayed at the fact that he hasn’t hit a perfect shot. He can get in his head and his game falls apart. In other words, he can give up.
Yesterday, I went about twelve steps beyond Spieth-level antics. After two holes of a nine-hole round, I declared: “That’s IT. I’m DONE.” Then I tried another shot on the third hole with equally horrific results. I carried my ball to the other side of the water hazard. I threw my pitching wedge on the ground when I hit a (hideously bad) chip shot that sailed all the way across the green. I walked an entire hole without hitting a single ball, silently, and pouting all the while. I continued to give up hole after hole. Completely.
I could easily view yesterday’s tantrum as a one-off, but the reality is that my past is littered with examples of me giving up. In no particular order, here are just a few of the things I have given up on without a fight:
- learning to play guitar
- getting my money back from Air Canada when a $300 item was stolen from my suitcase (I am still bitter about that one, even though I have no one to blame but myself)
- writing two other blogs before starting this one
- my last job
- launching a consultancy
This list doesn’t even touch on the many things I would have given up on had someone else not intervened and urged/forced me to forge ahead. That list is even more troubling and includes: my undergraduate degree, grad school, and getting the $100 tow fee back from a mistakenly towed vehicle (okay, that last one’s less serious but my boyfriend did not let me get out of that!).
When things get tough, when I’m not attached or committed to the idea, when I get ultra frustrated, or when the benefit to me doesn’t seem to outweigh the effort, that’s when I’m most likely to throw in the towel. As much as I like to think that I’m ultra resilient, time has shown that’s not always the case. It’s certainly not easy to admit that I sometimes give up too easily, but there it is: I am a big, old, quitter…at least occasionally.