Say hello to my kryptonite:
They look harmless, maybe even fun-loving, but let me assure you they are evil.
I am generally not a major salty snack fan. I can have a bag of chips sit around the house for weeks. I will forget about them entirely. The same is not true for candy. Candy calls to me in the wee hours of the night, in the lull of the mid-afternoon when I’m trying to stay focused on work, and pretty much any other hour of the day. When there is candy in the house I know in exactly what quantity and in what locations and I am fiercely possessive of it. Yes, I have a sugar addiction.
Let me get off my little obsessive candy rant and get back to salty snacks, though. Like I said, I can typically take or leave salty snacks. Munchies, however, is a completely different story. I think it might be because it’s the universe’s perfect illustration of the sum being greater than its parts. If it sounds like an overstatement, let me convince you otherwise:
On their own, cheddar Sun Chips have only the illusion of cheddar flavour. They are hopelessly bland. They need the cheddar oomph of their legitimately cheese-flavoured cousins, Cheetos and Doritos. Munchies brings them together so that Sun Chips can finally sing.
Doritos and Cheetos are both just a bit overwhelmingly cheesy to eat in large quantities. They need to be mellowed out by blander options, which is why Munchies struck gold when it paired them with pretzels and Sun Chips.
And pretzels, don’t even get me started on pretzels. Alone, they are like plaster masquerading as a snack food. But when Doritos and Cheetos accidentally sprinkle them with their overly abundant cheesiness, it’s like a magical fairy dust of flavour and pretzels instantly become my most addicting Munchies component.
See? Separately, the elements of Munchies are not at all compelling. Together, they are nothing short of meant to be. Because of this, I cannot have them in the house. Once the bag is opened, I will keep going back for more, again, and again, and again. Even when the roof of my mouth is shredded from Doritos shards, even when my beloved Munchies have lost all real sense of flavour, and even when my stomach feels on the verge of a gluten overload, I cannot stop. Kryptonite.
If you’re wondering what prompted my little love letter to Munchies, it was that I came into close, personal contact with them again this weekend. Thankfully this time there were at least 15 other people in the house to save me from my monstrous addiction. Consider yourselves both solicited to (go buy these immediately!) and warned (you will regret the day you discover their irresistible crunch and flavour!)…and if you see them on sale somewhere, please let me know!