Today, I woke up bright and early and felt surprisingly awake. I had some coffee. I made breakfast. I went to the grocery store and assembled a crock pot beef bourguignon for dinner tonight. I did some laundry, washed some dishes and unloaded the dishwasher. I felt accomplished and like I’d tackled all I needed to tackle for the day. It was 10 am. Now what?
I felt tired. I felt lazy. I wanted nothing other than to curl up on the couch and get lost in some Netflix, to relax and enjoy my first day since leaving work when I had absolutely zero plans. But then, as it always does, the guilt crept in. I felt like I should take advantage of the first rain-free day that we’ve had in about two months (I’m not even joking about this). I felt like I should get in a great workout. I already took yesterday off, after all. How lazy does one need to be when she has all the time in the world to take advantage of outdoor adventures? Faced with so much evidence of my laziness, I caved to the guilt.
So I loaded up my winter gear and drove all the way out to Chilliwack determined to kick off winter hiking season. En route, I was already waffling. I negotiated with myself, trading in my planned winter hike for a lower-elevation and snow-free trail that would require less driving and less effort. I should’ve known that was a sign of things to come. I arrived at my trailhead and, before I even turned the engine off, I had one of those rare moments of mental clarity. My mind had but a singular thought racing through it: I really do not want to hike today.
For once, I listened even though I had driven an hour to get there and would have to drive another hour to get home. I didn’t want to hike today. I didn’t want to do anything active today. I wanted to lounge and relax and not feel like I had to do something. I needed a day to just be lazy. I am still learning that sometimes I just have to listen to that inner voice and indulge my inner sloth.
I know I’ll be back at it tomorrow.